The Camino Part 2: ...and that's made all the difference.

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

-Tolkien

DAY 7, Ribadiso 35k to go – After a sleepless night full of snores I awoke bright and early, but this time with a group. As we walked in the fresh air of the early morning we all shared more Camino knowledge. My new favorite, one must never judge another before the first coffee.

It was a nice change of pace for me to start out the day surrounded by friends. They provided me with much needed support, quite literally. David bandaged my ankle, Christophe donated his walking sticks. I’m not sure if it was the support on my ankle, the sticks or simply the company but I felt great.

The click of my new walking sticks became almost meditational as the click click joined the rhythm of our footsteps. Our rhythms varied, sometimes one of us would walk on ahead or fall behind but we always magically found each other down the road. I realized after my stern scolding from the Belgium about walking too fast to keep up with others, that rather being around others had helped to slow me down. Alone I rarely stopped for a coffee but with them we counted down until the next rest.

As our tummies began growling we hunted for just the right picnic spot. Eventually having decided on a nice little patch of grass we veered off the path and set up. Each person offered what they had in their bag and together we feasted. There was an astounding assortment of breads, cheeses and fruits as each person pulled their personal favorite out of their packs. Bellies soon full we reclined in the shrubs and dozed off under the hot afternoon sun, shielded by the tress above. There are no words to describe how lovely it feels to wake up in a small forest clearing surrounded by new friends who are splayed out, dotted by the shade of the leaves high above. As my eyes slowly opened there was no noise beside the deep dreamful breaths of my friends and the birds singing in the distance.

Soon the itch to reach our goal stirred us to our feet. It was really hot now and there was still 9 k to walk. The afternoon heat slowed us down and we descended on water fountains like hawks. Though my body had begun to ache once more I found an odd comfort as the need to keep putting one foot in front of the other chased away the frivolous thoughts in my mind.

As we reached the top of a hill we discovered a fellow friend who had stopped at an albergue 3 k early. We raced to find a bed. And so we gave ourselves a break that day, and it was the most beautiful spot yet. Our day’s salvation.

After dipping my hardworking feet in the river and letting them go numb from the cold I took in the day’s wisdom. For my first few days I had walked alone and I had needed to be alone. Now I needed friends and they arrived and welcomed me. Natalie the cheerful French girl, Byron the rowdy Australian, David and Christophe the Austrian brothers with intensely expressive eyes, Melanie the serious girl from Switzerland, Suna the cheeky Korean and Steve the pensive Australian. What a motley crew we made, and it would not have been the same Camino without them.

DAY 8, Arco de Pino, 18k away – Breakfast was coffee and sugar, meant to sustain us through the next 5 k. We were starving by the time we met up with friends and like the day before we each offered rations from our packs and feasted on coffee, fruit and cookies in true pilgrim spirit. My knee and ankle had finally stopped complaining and I was full of energy so I walked on ahead with Christophe. It was a beautiful walk as the trees shaded us from the sun above.

Christophe talked about chemistry with the passion of someone who truly loves what they do. He had seemed so quiet and closed before, but a closer look revealed that he was quite spunky. He lit up at the thought of seeing his girlfriend soon. And as usual it got my mind going. Though I enjoy my independence I do often miss that companionship. As my mind wandered I felt a certain reluctance, almost a fear, of settling down and opening up with another person. I have a hard time accepting myself for who I am, how could I possibly expect someone else to do so? In intense situations like this I feel like I am in a zone, and I feel like another person in this zone. I look at my unadorned face and I see a fierce raw beauty that radiates from inside. In this place I feel as if I have nothing to hide, nothing to fear. But I know that this zone will soon fade away, that life and the insecurities that come along with it will soon find me once more.

Soon the others caught up and I let my steps slow and fell behind to enjoy the calmness of the day. We walked through forests, the sky thick with trees, here and there opening into a sunny field. The mixture worked well, providing us with both shade and views.

I looked back over every decision I had made along the way. What impact each had ultimately had. As I walked among friends, people with whom I really connected, I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be. My heart was light and happy. No regrets. The day I had pushed myself too far and hurt my ankle was worth the pain, worth the limping because in the end it had carried me to them. This is really a lesson that I would like to carry off the path. Decisions made may have consequences but further on down the line they may turn out to be just the one I needed to make.

It’s so hard to follow your heart sometimes. My mind interferes and I confuse the desires of my heart with those of my head and all its misgivings. Or my heart may be fickle. But when you relax, let go, just move forward and let the Camino carry you onward you inevitably follow your heart without analyzing the whys, the whiches. By quieting the mind we can set the heart free.

DAY 9, Santiago 0k –Three-forty in the morning I awoke suddenly, alert and ready for the day. I was quite shocked to be awake before my alarm. Everyone had said we were crazy to want to start so early, but waking up before my alarm, just in time, seemed to be a good sign. I walked upstairs to wake Steve only to find him packed and ready to go. No doubt remained, this felt right.

Natalie and Byron appeared in the night and off we went. At 4 am it was a new Camino, a new scavenger hunt. The air was cool and fresh. The world was tranquil and silent. We soon left the cement and lights of the city. In the black night the true scavenger hunt began. The 2 of us with flashlights began searching the ground and trees for an arrow, a sign. As we entered the forest the tree tops, which provide such relief in the day, blocked the stars. We went along, stopping at ever clearing to throw back our heads and gaze up at the starry night. The Milky Way guiding us west.

The cement markers slowly counted down to the end of our journey. 18k, 17.5, 15.5… About 8 k in to the day the craving for food and coffee began to push us faster. We entered every sleeping village hoping to find an early riser. Behind us the sun began to set the world on fire. The mountains began to glow; the dark trees around us became silhouetted against the dark blue twilight.

Giving into the exhaustion of awaking so early we stopped for a rest. Lying upon one another in the road as the rest of the world continued dreaming. In true Camino spirit our friend came unexpectedly around the corner and lay with us. There we laid, all together, watching as the sun lit up the world. Lost in the serenity of the moment.

As we moved onward our slow leisurely pace allowed the rest of our group to catch up, and back amongst familiar company we moved slowly to our final destination.

As we approached the big city my phone came back to life and buzzed with the influx of lost messages. The beeping of messages and missed called pulled me reluctantly back to reality. Each step brought us closer to the end.

In the last kilometers Natalie shared her journey with me. She had learned that everyone walks a different Camino even though we are all going the same direction. That there are times to rush and times to slow down and enjoy.

I slowed my pace as we approached the big city of Santiago. Soon I was surrounded for the first time in so long by people rushing about, their lives completely unconnected to the Camino. Life seemed to speed up as the Camino carried us through the city. The sun was high in the sky; my back was full of sweat as I rounded the last corner. There it stood suddenly towering above me. The Cathedral de Santiago de la Compostela. It seemed so silly to have walked so far just to see a cathedral, but it had become more. Over the past nine months it had been a dream, a goal, to walk here with the power of my own two feet. And there I was standing before it. I had accomplished what I once thought was too great a challenge. My fellow companions, who had been walking for over a month, who had traversed Spain, dropped their bags and sat as they stared in amazement. Though the plaza was full of tourists, full of life, this moment was ours alone.

Friends made throughout the Camino ran from every corner to greet, embrace and congratulate. Though I had walked a mere 202k they embraced me as if I had been on the journey with them all along. And in the end we had all done our own Camino. We hugged one another with disbelief and teary eyes, all slightly shocked by the sudden end of it all.

We sat and stared at the cathedral in silence until the heat moved us onward. We walked into a building that felt more like the DMV than the grande finale to an epic Pilgrimage. There I received my final stamp and Compostela, recognition for the honorable completion of my journey.

As I walked alone around Santiago I digested the week. I had learned so much in the last week. I had discovered my own personal strength, I had learned to slow down, stop and admire the view. There are times to be alone and to reconnect with yourself, since the world is so often distracting. Yet just as important are the times to connect with others, to be with friends. Everything will work out as it should. There is always a sign. Life has a way of giving you what you need. Ask and you shall receive.

I had been craving a song over the past few days. A song a new friend had sung to me in Frankfurt, which was a rare song that I could never find on the internet. But I loved the song, it had stuck with me.

After spending one last night with my friends I hugged them and since there were no words for this final goodbye we wished each other a “buen camino”. As I walked back to my hostel with my last two friends I turned a corner and heard, of all things, my song being sung by a street performer. I paid him well, sat and sang along. My last bit of Camino magic. Though the physical Camino had ended, the true camino goes on and on. And it was time for the next step.

“Walk, rest, silence the heart, contemplate, explore, discover, rediscover, enjoy.”

Santiago